Rewind

Came home from work and got changed.
Inhaled dinner and packed Caelan up.
Headed off to his Urology appointment.
Caelan cried the first 15 minutes in the car.
That's half way there.
He wanted Daddy to come with us.
Too bad, so sad, stuck with Momma.
Managed to keep him awake for the drive.
Arrive only a few minutes late.
Caelan wants to colour at the little tables.
It's too late and no crayons/paper are available.
We settle on steering the big wheels.
This is good.  We're all smiles.
Don't have to wait long.
Learn this appointment is to check testes.
To make sure they've descended.
What do I think??  um.. no idea.
Does that make me a bad Mom?
Maybe not, but...
In my attempt to get Caelan to the examination table
I screwed up...
I managed to pull Caelan's mic-key out.
That's his feeding tube.
Not sure what it got caught on.
I know better.  Have to move slow.
Always have to check where the line is.
Caelan wasn't impressed.
Neither was I.
That makes me feel like a horrible Mom
and his eyes echo that sentiment.
So sorry.
Re-group and put mic-key back in.
Afterthought - that hit the hospital floor
and I just put it back in my son.
(Shudder)
Calm Caelan down.
Time for the examination.
Apparently it's not welcome.
Caelan is not impressed.
Apparently testes retract when you cry.
Making it impossible to know if they've descended.
We'll need to reschedule.
Come back another day and do this all over again.
We get back to the van.
It's seven o'clock.
Caelan has fallen asleep.
I'm deflated, frustrated, exhausted.
I can't imagine that it will be a very long night
with Caelan already asleep at seven o'clock.

I think I'd like a do-over.