Caelan spent another morning at preschool on Friday. Damian stayed with him the majority of the time but did step out for about 40 minutes to see how Caelan would handle it. We’re told that Caelan did really well during this time and although he did ask where Dad was, he didn’t get upset.
Which brings us to today. Damian dropped Caelan off at 9 o’clock this morning and left. He returned to the preschool a couple hours later just to ensure there were no questions about starting Caelan’s feed and giving him his medication at noon. This also enabled him to be there when the kids went outside to play. This is a bit of a challenge for Caelan since his gross motor skills are so delayed. Bum scooting around the play yard is not quite the same. We’ve brought his walker but the yard is a bit hilly. Hopefully, it will be motivation for our little man to stand up and use those legs like the other kids!
When they come inside they’ve got lunch and then quiet time and we were curious to see how Caelan would respond to this part of the routine. No problems with lunch, but not so fussy on the whole aspect of quiet time. Go figure, eh? They showed him his little bed but he was more interested in getting back to playing. When it was clear that everyone was going to ‘bed’ he started to cry. They wanted to see how it would play out and let him cry a bit. Then they realized that they couldn’t back down and now had to see it through. When he started to calm down Damian left but was called back when someone let a door slam closed startling him awake. Caelan got quite upset... We’ll have to try again tomorrow.
We realize that three year olds all over the world get dropped off at daycare regularly without incident. We’re definitely taking things much slower with Caelan than we ever did with the girls, but circumstances are so different. As much as we try to treat Caelan the same, it’s impossible. This boy has been through so much and has spent minimal time away from us. This wasn’t a choice we made, the decision was made for us when he got his tracheotomy. Now that it’s gone … well it’s an adjustment for all of us.
On top of what I consider ‘normal’ issues we still have some other concerns. We’re still dealing with some symptoms of withdrawal from the narcotics. It’s difficult to say how much is really withdrawal and how much is him now playing manipulation games. The good news is that Caelan’s days are pretty good. He’s still got some anxiety and really likes to have his family where he can see them, but for the most part I’d be tempted to say he’s close to being back to normal. Argh! I feel like I’m jinxing things by typing that out! Unfortunately, his nights are another matter. Caelan still isn’t sleeping well and wakes frequently in a cold sweat, coughing, crying and yelling for me. This isn’t getting better at all. In fact, his meds make him sleepy enough to warrant a tiny mid day nap and it’s not uncommon for him to wake with a start in the middle of the day in the same manner. So that’s my concern for preschool, that he actually falls asleep during quiet time (like today) and wakes up in a panic (like today). Damian and I have a hard enough time settling him down at home – how’s this going to work at pre-school when he falls asleep during quiet time? Will he get comfortable enough there that they’ll be able to calm him down? I’d like to think so, but it’s hard to let him go through that too…