Saturday, November 19, 2011

Just an observation

Caelan still sleeps in the living room.  We felt that while he was going through withdrawal and trying to get a handle on this whole new breathing thing it wouldn't be the best time to change where he slept at home too.

Damian stays up to give Caelan some of his medications and start his overnight feed.  We say he has the first shift.

I go to bed.  I turn the monitor on at that time to make sure that I can hear Caelan.  Usually I can hear Damain moving about and the television too but it doesn't seem to bother me.  I fall asleep quickly and without much effort.

The funny thing is that I never notice when Damian comes to bed but I seem to know when he's there.  After Damian comes to bed, if Caelan cries-coughs-whatevers I am out of bed like a shot and half way down the hall before Damian knows what's happened.  However, I'm never aware of how Caelan's night went before then.  I always thought he rested well because he never woke me up.  I was wrong.  Damian has spent many nights at the crib side calming our son and I sleep through it all. 

Isn't it strange how a mothers instinct works?  For me to be aware on some level that Damian's come to bed and it's now my turn to care for Caelan; to know that my shift has started.

This is how things have been going since Caelan was discharged back in October.  Many a sleepless nights as our boy struggles with breathing the most then.  We had a couple amazing nights when he was taking the anti-inflammatory steroid before the most recent surgery but since then it's been back to waking up at all hours every hour.

Last night however, it backfired.  I awoke and came flying down the hall and into the living room, only to find Damian there.  I'm not sure I was even really awake yet and it had me so confused I went back to bed to see who was there, if not Damian.  There was nobody there.  I thought maybe Darcy had snuck in, but nope, nobody.  Just a malfunction in the system.

1 comment:

  1. Malfunctions like this will happen on little to no sleep. The instinct thing...I get that. We have a similar scenario with our every waking child. In the midst of a heavenly hour of sleep one can jump up and dash without even knowing it. Sick sense, Mother's instinct, whatever you would like to call it is fine I just wish it would end for you so Dam, Caelan and you can all get the rest you deserve (and need)
    Love ya
    Joanna XXOO