true Caelan fashion...

Typical.

Caelan doesn't like to do anything the easy way.

He did come back from the operating room without the breathing tube... However it hasn't been smooth sailing.  He's a little uncoordinated in his breathing and is requiring some bi-pap (like c-pap) to help him out a little.  The surgeon explained that while he was trached he had an easy effortless system for breathing, now he's trying to breath through vocal cords that have been pinned open.  It's not as easy as what he's used to.  It's different and he just has to figure it all out.  He's full of gunk (secretions) that he's coughing up, he's gone through a few rounds of chest therapy to help loosen it and get it out of his chest and lungs.  Hard to breath through a bunch of slime.  He's got some serious stridor going on which is reminiscent of our NICU days before Caelan was trached.  It's a little hard to hear (and see) and not be brought back in time.  It quiets right down while he's asleep and seems to be at it's worst when he's upset and crying.

When Caelan came back from the operating room they stopped all his infusions of fentanyl and midazolam.  Time to wake up Caelan!  He's not sure he's ready for that yet.  It takes a lot of effort to try and open an eye - the eyebrows go up but only enough that he can peak through a tiny slit.  Still lots of drugs in his system.  He's more aware of his surroundings and getting wiggly as he kind of wakes up for brief moments.  He's also getting jittery as his body realizes that there's no more happy drugs being delivered.  The first signs of withdrawal.

Right now we're so thrilled to see our boy without his trache or breathing tube.  I took great pleasure washing all around his neck during his sponge bath.

Caelan still needs to prove that he doesn't need to be re-intubated.

We realize we're not out of the woods yet. 

I feel like I'm still holding my breath, and am constantly reminding myself to just breathe...