Monday, July 11, 2011

work

This working for a living things really isn't all it's cracked up to be! 

Work has once again become work. 

At first it was fun to get dressed up, put on make up, get out of the house, and talk to adults all day.  Then a month ago a group of new hires started and I sat in on their licensing course to reacquaint myself with the material.  I really enjoyed this, as the subject matter hadn't changed much in the past three years and I regained confidence in my abilities. 

Then whirlwind product training started and my days were extended from 8 hours to more like 12 and I was bringing stuff home to read and prepare for the next days lessons.  This, I didn't feel confident delivering.  Some days were better than others.  It was overwhelming and exhausting.  So many things had changed and to make matters worse this was kind of a trial group and we weren't really following any pre-developped training package.  I was winging it.  With no confidence.  Ugh. 

I like doing my job well.  I like knowing my stuff. 

I don't like when I don't know.  It stresses me out.

Two thirds of training is now complete.  The next two weeks conisist of more 'hands on' training.  Usually this responsibility falls on someone else but I still seem to be heavily involved in supporting the new agents.  Another area I don't feel extremely confident in.  I'm second guessing all my decisions and I hate it.

Two and a half years.

What a difference it can make.

I'm just not so sure about anything anymore.

3 comments:

  1. ((( hugs )))

    don't be so hard on yourself...I know easier said then done! I'm sure the new hires think you are "da bomb" : ) how could they not?

    miss you,
    xoxo
    T

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  2. Your students should feel very lucky that you are concerned about not knowing the content as well as you would like because this will reflect in an exceptional course for them. If you didn't give a darn then the course would be brutal for them :)Knowing you and the extra coaching that you have given your students in the past I have every confidence that you are an exceptional teacher and knowing your personality I am sure you are an awesome coach. Be gentle to yourself, working and being away from the family does suck though no matter how well prepared you are!

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  3. I still go through the same at work since returning from mat leave. It is hard feeling as prepared as you once were with all the added responsibilities. And while you may doubt yourself, I have every faith my friend that you are blowing them all away with your level of knowledge, expertise and positive outlook on everything life brings your way. Love Heather

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