work

This working for a living things really isn't all it's cracked up to be! 

Work has once again become work. 

At first it was fun to get dressed up, put on make up, get out of the house, and talk to adults all day.  Then a month ago a group of new hires started and I sat in on their licensing course to reacquaint myself with the material.  I really enjoyed this, as the subject matter hadn't changed much in the past three years and I regained confidence in my abilities. 

Then whirlwind product training started and my days were extended from 8 hours to more like 12 and I was bringing stuff home to read and prepare for the next days lessons.  This, I didn't feel confident delivering.  Some days were better than others.  It was overwhelming and exhausting.  So many things had changed and to make matters worse this was kind of a trial group and we weren't really following any pre-developped training package.  I was winging it.  With no confidence.  Ugh. 

I like doing my job well.  I like knowing my stuff. 

I don't like when I don't know.  It stresses me out.

Two thirds of training is now complete.  The next two weeks conisist of more 'hands on' training.  Usually this responsibility falls on someone else but I still seem to be heavily involved in supporting the new agents.  Another area I don't feel extremely confident in.  I'm second guessing all my decisions and I hate it.

Two and a half years.

What a difference it can make.

I'm just not so sure about anything anymore.