So is that it?
Are you done now?
Are you going to have another one?
Are you going to try for a boy?
I remember being asked these questions after returning from my maternity leave with Darcy. I remember feeling like my answer should be “Yes our family of four is complete.” That’s what society expects. We were very happy with our two girls. But were we done? I think more often than not my answer was “I’m not sure” or I don’t know.” I just couldn’t give a definitive answer. That alone told me that my answer was really NO we’re not done (and what business was it of theirs anyway?? I'll save that rant for another day!).
Immediately after Caelan was born, and I mean immediately, as in still in the labour and delivery room, I remember telling the Obstetrician that we were done, that was it, no more, most definitely! Of course that was how I felt. I’d just delivered a baby. Find me a woman who is ready to sign up to do that all over again when their baby is only minutes old!!
However, my answer didn’t change for a long time. With everything we were going through with Caelan, for months after he was born the idea of ever having another child was completely out of the question. Heck, Caelan was overwhelming enough on his own! I couldn't begin to imagine adding to the family If you asked me at any point during the first year of Caelan’s life whether we were done, I would have looked at you like you were crazy and said "Oh yeah, we’re done!"
But as time went on, things got better, life got smoother and you know what? I wasn’t done.
I kept trying to convince myself that I was. There were so many reasons not to have another child. I knew them all and yet I still felt like I was trying to convince myself. Things didn’t seem so definitive anymore.
And you know what I kept thinking?? I don’t know of a woman who regrets having another child, but I can think of plenty who regret NOT having another. Tell me I’m wrong?
I would regret it if we stopped as a family of five. So we thought we’d try…
Baby number four is due March 19, 2013 and we are all so excited!